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SOCIAL NORMS

Without the social norms that we abide by each and every day, there would be absolutely no expectations of how anyone is supposed to “normally” behave. From the moment we wake up on our mattress, usually atop a box spring and frame (the standard sleeping structure in western culture); we follow the norms that have been taught to us since the moment we entered onto this earth.

I think that maintaining these norms, and being seen as normal for abiding by them, are of extreme importance to nearly everyone in every society. To fit in is everyone’s ultimate goal. In order to retain the importance of the norms we’ve constructed, we have created different levels of negative sanctions to deal with the disobedient social deviants. Whether it be conscious or subconscious, every time we view someone falling outside of norms we think negatively of them and react in various ways, from simply rolling our eyes to picking up a phone and dialing the police (depending on the severity of the norm breaking).

who_thisweek_26092011_17731gr-17731h2Norms in society can range from things that are seemingly insignificant as the kind of clothes we wear to things that are considered law. We consider these small norms to be folkways, and little concern is raised when someone decides to deviate from them. Although it is a folkway to wear casual clothing, such as jeans in what is considered a casual setting, no one is too bothered by someone deciding to “dress up” in something more along the lines of a suit jacket or a nice dress.  Norms that are deemed more necessary and absolute, such as driving on a specific side of the road, or refraining from murder, are referred to as mores. These mores are often written down formally whether in formats such as a school handbook, driving manual, or in laws defended by the government. Once written down, these norms are considered to be formal norms, as opposed to informal norms, which are generally grasped by the population, but not necessarily written down. Example of informal norms are the common etiquettes we’ve been raised with, such as not being “too loud” in a public environment or grocery shopping from the store aisles as opposed to someone else’s cart.

japanese_card_exchange

Negative sanctions are not the only sanctions to exist in our world of norms. Positive sanctions are seen just as often as negative sanctions. We’re given positive sanctions for obeying our norms through our good grades in schools, promotions and pats on the back at work, and general statuses in life. Because the average person obeys the norms laid out for them, they will have many more opportunities than someone who has deviated from these norms, such as a convicted felon.  Other than the obvious jail time and/or fines, felons are negatively sanctioned beyond that to continuously remind them of their wrongdoings. These sanctions can include: refusal to enter other countries, not being allowed a job in childcare or public office, etc., whereas these travel and job opportunities are seemingly very basic and attainable to the Average Joe.

tumblr_l8vf4zt3wb1qdpi3fo1_500My personal view of norms is exceptionally mixed. On one hand, I feel that norms suffocate any real sense of self and individualism. However, on the other hand, I recognize the importance of providing someone with violent tendencies a standard at which to abide by so that they don’t act on possible homicidal urges. Unfortunately because norms are so heavily relied upon, they are the major players in creating the petty insecurities we feel on a daily basis. I think that if the norms laying in the more aesthetic/subjective spectrum (such as clothing and beauty standards of the gender binary, grooming habits, interest in pop culture, etc) were to be given less focus and attention, the world would be a much happier place. If everyone could mind their own business and pay no mind as to what someone chooses to wear or who they feel like having a relationship with, it’s my belief that suicide would not be nearly as prevalent; especially in those who strain the importance of such things- teenagers. Instead of constantly having to conform and act off of what we think is “normal” our Me and I could just be one, and there wouldn’t have to be so much stress put on our looking glass self. Bullying wouldn’t exist and Ugg boots would’ve not been so vital to every fourteen-year-old girls existence. But in order to do this, one of the important factors would be to significantly cut the amount of corporate advertising shown in all forms of media. Given that in 2010 advertisers spent fifty billion dollars on television advertising alone (Ad Age), one could say cutting such a thing would be detrimental to the United States economy. Although it’s obvious that petty folkway norms can be seemingly of so much more importance in our daily lives, and cause a myriad of self detriment- I don’t think there’s any realistic way in the foreseeable future to be rid of them.

DEVIANCE

We have all seen them, “gangsters” walking around with saggy pants and baggy sweatshirts known for causing trouble and committing crime, or Goth’s with gaged ears and all black attire, known for being emotionally unstable and violent. These people are said to be deviant, with norms and values that differ from those of the greater society. These subcultures create their own norms and values that others see to be different, or deviant.

Norms are an established standard of behavior maintained by a society.  Norms can be formal, informal, folkways or mores. Formal norms are those that generally have been written down and specify strict punishment if violated. Laws are an example of formal norms. Informal norms are those that are understood but not necessarily recorded. Examples of informal norms include how one behaves in a college level classroom. Folkways are norms that govern everyday behavior but do not result in much concern if violated. Wearing acceptable clothing is an example of a folkway. Lastly, mores are norms that are seen as necessary to the welfare of society, and are based on what is right and wrong. Religious doctrines are an example of mores. Defying any of these norms can result in an individual being perceived as deviant. For an individual to conform is for him or her to go along with peers, acting in a similar manner. Just as one can conform to society, that is following social norms, one can also conform to a deviant group, acting in a way that is different from the rest of society.

Perhaps the most recognized deviant groups in society are criminals. Criminals can be individuals who commit crimes such as murder or assault, or small crimes such as income tax evasion or misinterpretation of advertisement. Whether the crime was a violent crime resulting in extreme punishment, or a small senseless one with little recognition, every move we make as humans has a sanction. Sanctions are tactics used by society to penalize or reward individuals for their behavior. Negative sanctions used for criminal activity, for example, include jail or prison sentencing, fines and community service. These sanctions are largely responsible for the “good behavior” of society, as individuals stray from behavior that could result in these negative sanctions. Positive sanctions are also part of keeping society under control, so to speak. These sanctions include praise or rewards for good behavior, such as a student being on the honor roll, or getting certificates for perfect attendance. Sanctions are a means of encouraging conformity to the standards of society, while also preventing individuals from becoming deviant.

All types of sanctions are a part of social control.  “We create norms to provide social order . . . we enforce them through social control – the techniques and strategies for preventing deviant human behavior in any society” (Witt 130). Social control can be exercised in families, by parents, in colleges, by teachers, or in government by the police or legislature. One example of social control in schools is the hidden curriculum. Just as sanctions teach individuals what is socially acceptable throughout life, the hidden curriculum is used in schools to teach children what behaviors are acceptable. For example, students learn to speak only when they are called on, and are taught how to socialize with authority figures in an acceptable way. These lessons are ones that will be critical throughout life, to conform to society.

Teachers are likely to have a life-long effect on their students. Not only do teachers demonstrate socially acceptable behavior to students, but they often label students as well. Labeling can both help and hurt a child while growing up. For example, if the teacher labels a student as dishonest at a young age, that child is likely to keep that label throughout his or her education. Labeling can also be seen as a sort of stereotyping. African Americans have been labeled as delinquents, bad kids or criminals for years. Labeling a group of people as bad, in this case, puts them at a disadvantage because they are more likely to accept that label.

Norms are more important in everyday life than most people know. Without norms, we would not know how to work together, how to work individually, or how to function as an entire community. Although there are disadvantages of having norms, such as having deviant individuals, norms are an absolute necessity of society.

 

Works Cited

Lunchcountersitin, . “Incarceration Rate per 100,000 Residents.” Chart. Bureau of Justice Statistics (2009). Web.

Maricopa CountyJail. Web. 23 Feb. 2013. <http://maricopacountyjail.net/&gt;.

Sackermann, Joern. Germany, Gothic People. Lightstalkers, Cologne. Web. 23 Feb. 2013.

Stylephotographs, . African Student Raising her Hand in University Class. 123RF. Web. 23 Feb. 2013.

Witt, Jon. SOC. 2012th ed. N.p.: McGraw Hill, 2012. Print.

CULTURE SHOCK

Culture shock is defined as the feeling of disorientation experienced by someone who is suddenly subjected to an unfamiliar culture, way of life, or set of attitudes (oxforddictionaries.com, 2013).  It is what happens when one encounters people, or groups, that have a different set of values, norms, and even laws.  Culture shock can even happen within a certain country, if that country is diverse enough. For example, one might experience culture shock when going from northern Michigan to Texas. There are things such as the weather, food, and dialect that are different from what one considers normal if from northern Michigan. To better understand what culture shock is, one must better understand what a culture is.  Wherever one lives in the world, culture is comprised of norms, folkways, mores, laws, and even includes languages to name a few.

Have you sat in a movie theater and watched as everyone got quiet once the movie started?  Or how you just know how to act while you’re attending church?  What about how we raise our hands to ask a question in class?  These are norms of our society, or in other words, what people have decided is acceptable.  There are different types of norms for different societies.  For example,  folkways deal with norms within a particular society.  A folkway is a norm that when broken, it is not that big of a deal even if a norm is broken. You will still be made aware that what you did was wrong, but you will live to see another day.  A good example that comes to mind is for men in particular. When using the urinal, you are supposed to stand at least two urinals away from the next person. Where is this rule written?  It is not written, but if you were to go stand right next to another man at a urinal when there are other spaces available, you would be sanctioned.  For example, the man you stood next to might leave in a hurry, or give you a dirty look, because what you did is considered wrong.  Mores are norms that are taken more seriously and obedience to must be necessary for society.  Mores are usually made into laws. These laws are enforced with more serious sanctions, such as prison, to make sure our obedience is mandatory.

These patterns of society help create our culture. Society needs these patterns of behavior to survive.  Without these, we would easily fall into chaos caused by the lack of rules.  Think of a school room full of students without the teacher.  The children will go wild, pulling hair and running around, with no one to object. In doing so, they break the norms of the class room. Nothing would be able to be accomplished until the teacher returns to establish the norms.  Without those norms in place, the children were not able to learn and advance; staying in the same state until the norms were again in force.

Now that we better understand what culture is and consists of, we can talk about culture shock.  I experienced this when I went from Michigan to the country of Malawi. I was trading not only countries, but races as well.  As I went from the dreary parts of Michigan to the warm heart of Africa, I could not help but feel out-of-place.  The people talked different, transportation was odd to me, and do not get me started on the food.  As I immediately began comparing the two places, for a time, I began to think my home was better, simply because we did not eat caterpillars and all (for the most part) spoke the same language.  Although those thoughts passed as I spent more time there, I now realize that to be Ethnocentrism.  I feel bad holding what I was used to as being better than where I was, but that is a fairly common thing to do.  Looking back, I think that Ethnocentrism could even be the founder of racism.  It would not be very hard for those feelings of, “My culture is better than yours,” to lead to the idea that, “I am better than you.”

As time went on, I became more acceptable to the culture and the people around me. In turn, it became easier for me to practice cultural relativism, or the judging of peoples’ behaviors based on their own culture.  For instance, eating bugs as part of a meal.  In America, it is considered disgusting, however, in Malawi it would be considered normal.  So as I began to practice cultural relativism, I no longer deemed that as wrong and took part in such cultural activities.

While I was in Malawi, I went to some interesting places.  Once, we were invited into a very wealthy Indian man’s home.  I felt so strange because I was still in Malawi, but everything I had come to associate Malawi with was gone.  Instead of a dirt floor, he had tile.  He told us that he resented the dirtiness of most of the people there.  He almost lived to set himself apart from the dirtiness of the rest of the country.  As we left this man’s home, we looked around and realized that there was a whole group of people who felt the same way.  This counter-culture openly opposed the main culture of Malawi, but they could not get rid of the main culture entirely.

New Picture

As I moved from the warm heart of Africa to the neighboring country, Zambia, I noticed that because of the size of the country and number of different tribes, it was hard for them to be united under one culture.  In the north, you had the Bembas, in the south was the Tongas, and eastward was home of the Chewas.  These subcultures were still able to relate to most things, but you just knew that they were different.   They differed in their mores, folkways, and values of the larger society (Jon, 2011, 63). I believe that the shared main culture within all of the tribes of Zambia is what keeps it together. If a country lacks that main culture similarity and there are competing cultures fighting for dominance, the result may very well be civil war.  Looking at the civil war in the United States, the culture of the South was to have slaves while the culture in the North was anti-slavery.  The two different cultures were so close to each other, within the same country, the differences could only be solved by war.

Culture is very much a part of who we are.  Every day we are shaped by our culture and the rules that come with it.  We need our culture to hold us together and help society to continue to advance.  When we are placed into a culture that we do not relate with, we are shocked.

Works Cited

“Culture Shock”. OxfordUniversity Press. 2013 2/23/13 <http://oxforddictionaries.com/definitino/english/culture%2Bshock

Witt, Jon. Soc 2012 Ed. Boedeker, Gina. New York: McGraw-Hill. 2011.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSJFBeVFtak  Youtube.com Posted by: Fallon Burke, 2009

http://romeoandjulietdebate.wikispaces.com/file/view/800px-Quarter-4-benchmark-group2.jpg/126626615/800px-Quarter-4-benchmark-group2.jpg  Titled Chaos in Classroom.  Classinex.com.br

CULTURAL RELATIVISM

“He who Marches out of step hears another drum”

–Ken Kesey, One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest

The easiest way to address the idea of cultural relativism is to consider the norms of the society that we are accustomed to. A norm is the behavior that we deem normal or acceptable. There are different types of norms including Folkways (everyday behavior), Mores (thought necessary in a society), Formal Norms (laws), and Informal Norms (things society sees as normal that are not written laws). Examples of these everyday norms are: dressing appropriately for work (Folkways), the act of adultery (Mores), paying taxes (Formal Norms), or how to react when entering a classroom (Informal norm). But norms change. Cultural relativism is the practice of looking at differences in society through that society’s eyes. This is an idea of objectively considering the acts, traditions, or behaviors of a culture different from your own. It is an unbiased process of analyzing a world that we are not accustom to, because it was not the culture we were socialized into. This act of socialization that occurs when we are young and continually occurs as we grow is the process that teaches us what to view as a norm and what to view as deviant.  The extreme opposite of Culture Relativism is Ethnocentrism. This is where a culture is analyzed for its differences in a negative manner. In other words, ethnocentrism is seeing traditions and beliefs that are different from your own, comparing the two, and favoring your own.

An example of these processes can be applied to the pictures above. On the left there is a girl who has scars on her face. These scars are purposeful and deemed as normal and positive in the society she was raised. The scars are a way to identify her with the village that she came from. The girl on the right has a tattoo on her shoulder. This is also a purposeful and positive symbol that she has decided to place upon her body. Both of these acts are similar, they have both scared their skin for life in order to identify with their culture or a value that they hold. Seeing this as it was previously stated, would be looking at these processes through a culturally relativistic view. Seeing only the girl with a primitive way of identifying with her village, or a girl who paid to mar her body with an insignificant picture would be an ethnocentric view of their cultural values and normative practices.

 

Works Cited

“One Few Over The Cuckoo’s Nest Quotes.” Goodreads. Goodreads Inc., n.d. Web. 25 Feb 2013. http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/2100252-one-flew-over-the-cuckoo-s-nest

“Cultural Relativism, Basic Concepts.” Sociology Gide. SEO Expert Chennai, n.d. Web. 25 Feb 2013. http://www.sociologyguide.com/basic-concepts/Cultural-Relativism.php

 

SUBCULTURE

With the United States being a very diverse country, we still have a unified culture. Culture is the learned and shared ways of believing and doing with a society. It provides us skills, habits, and styles which are passed from generation to generation. As a complex society, we have many subcultures in the U.S., which are segments of the larger culture. They have their own beliefs and values which they carry from their own cultures. Conversely, many subcultural groups also participate and engage in the behaviors of the dominant culture. As we know, language is part of culture.  It has an impact on subcultural groups within a larger society who struggle to keep their language. For instance, many Somali children, when they move to the U.S, end up speaking American English more fluently than the language of their culture simply because the U.S  culture surrounds them most of the time. Not only does the dominant culture influence on language, but it also dominates subcultural values, mores, and folkways.

Although there is a huge immigrant population in this country, I would say when it comes resocializing, some immigrants can adapt easily.  Resocialization, the process of leaving old behavior behind and accepting the new life changes they’re undergoing is easy for some, while others, like refugees, take time to go through this process.  This is simply because some immigrants may come into this country for different reason: education, business, or vacation. These kinds of immigrants tend to experience fewer traumas compared to refugees who are vulnerable, having undergone rigorous situations in their countries.  My mom, for example, after living three years in Lansing, is still having trouble transforming herself and taking on some of the behaviors of the U.S..  Language is an issue for her. Even though she has transformed by adhering to some of the norms and values of this country, she wouldn’t have even followed these without being told by her children to do so. The language barrier has kept her from getting a job since English is the only language used in the larger society. This problem has explicitly resulted from the lack of resocialization and driver’s license.  Addition, she is not able to go to a doctor’s appointment without an interpreter. By accepting new transitions and social relationships, resocialization changes individuals from their old behaviors and way of life to the new patterns.

 

 

Another problem associated with subcultures is ethnocentrism.  Ethnocentrism can lead to bad things for many different reasons. It often puts down a certain group or culture. Subcultural groups can feel ethnocentric when they have to learn the language of the bigger society. In addition, following their norms and values has been prioritized. Ethnocentrism also leads a group to thinking they are righteous and better than other groups.  This happens at my workplace when working with some employees from the dominant culture. I had small talk one day with one of my coworker and come up with one of the norms of culture to compare with another from the large culture. I felt he implicitly preferred the norms of that subculture. Sometimes ethnocentrism does not have a negative impact, rather it has advantages. For instance, it can create patriotism. Even though we consist of different societies with different beliefs, values, norms, and knowledge, we still have common norms, values and symbols that bring us together.  For instance, the flag symbolizes unity and shows love of the country and obedience to the rules and regulations. The flag encourages people to be patriotic for the country whether an individual is from the dominant culture or subculture.

STIGMA

SOC1“That’s so gay”. “Don’t be gay”. “No homo”. “What a fag”. All of these remarks can be heard almost daily. It is socially unacceptable or undesirable to be gay. A stigma is a label used to devalue members of certain social groups (Witt). Whether or not these remarks are directed at a gay person, it fuels the stigma against homosexuals and homosexuality.

My mom and dad got divorced in 1997 and my mom came out as a lesbian. Since then she has gotten married (legally in the state of New York) to her partner of 12 years, Lara. I have seen and experienced first hand the discrimination gay and lesbians experience due to the stigma homosexuality has.

Society puts us under immense amounts of pressure not to veer off from the norms.  In order to avoid the stigma many people live their whole lives in the closet, afraid of what might happen if they come out. They will be seen as deviant and will experience negative sanctions for their decision to come out as homosexual. Many people are bullied, beaten, and even murdered or driven to suicide because their sexual orientation violates the mores society dictates everyone should live by.

There is group superiority that extreme homophobic people have, such as Focus On The Family, One Million Moms, and the American Family Association. These groups feel as though being gay is deviant and shouldn’t be shown on television, supported legally, or given any civil rights. These people see being homosexual as taboo.

The family structure in American is changing. There is no longer the ideal husband, wife, 2.5 kids, and dog. There are families with adopted children, single parent households, guardians, and families with gay parents. As a child of a lesbian I had my own experiences with the stigma attached to having a gay parent. People assume that the child of a gay parent will become gay themselves. There is this theory that being gay is somehow contagious or a choice.

http://www.nbc.com/the-new-normal/video/redefining-traditional/n29429/

When traveling to Italy last summer I was in a bit of culture shock when I realized that being gay was more accepted than it is in America. My mom and Lara could walk around holding hands without being stared at. Though as we have seen with each election people are becoming more and more accepting with many states making gay marriage legal. When my mom and Lara got married in New York there was a celebration of love and acceptance. They were finally able to legally declare their love, just as heterosexual couples have always been able to.

Homosexuals have become their own subculture. Since they have been discriminated against and cast as the out group, they have band together. They have their own bars, clubs, vacation spots, and even argot. “Let’s have a kiki”, “spill the tea”, and “throwing shade” all started as “gay lingo” then started spreading to the mainstream media.

There has been a push by the government, media, and people throughout America to take the stigma out of being gay. This will take time and might never happen, but through elections, television shows, music, and people supporting one another the stigma has decreased little by little over time.

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

What is nonverbal communication? It is the messages sent, intentional or unintentional, without words—clothing, facial expressions, body language, etc. (Witt p. 57). All nonverbal communication is learned. How would we know to give someone a hug when someone looks sad or give a high five after scoring a goal? This form of communication varies across cultures (Witt p. 57). Did you know that the thumbs-up sign is considered rude in Australia and Iraq (Witt p. 57)? Good relationships consist of good communication—verbal and nonverbal. Nonverbal communication matters more than what people realize (Segal). They say, “Actions speak louder than words”. In this case, yes they do. If a person says that they that they will be at an engagement at a certain time then show up late, it sends the message, “This engagement is not important to me,” otherwise, she would have made the effort to be on time. If two people are having a conversation and one person says she is not angry, yet has a frown and furrowed eyebrows, she contradicts herself. The other person is then confused and mislead.

There are many forms of nonverbal communication: appearance, facial expressions, posture, gestures, eye contact, touch, and space.

We can send messages through our appearances. “You never get a second chance to make a first impression” – unknown author. First impressions are important, not only what we say but also how we present ourselves. If I had a big job interview and showed up in sweat pants, torn shirt, and bedhead, the interviewer would probably be less inclined to hire me. Why? I sent the message that I did not care enough to clean up for an important meeting. What we feel on the inside is how we dress on the outside. Growing up in school I was always told, “dress for success.” As I am writing this I feel like a slob. I am wearing jean, running shoes and a sweatshirt. I have noticed that whenever I dress up, I feel all the more confident and presentable.  This is also known as the dramaturgical approach that looks at social interaction as if we were all actors on stage. The “costumes” help actors get into character.  Uniforms or work wear get employees into the respective role; props such as brief cases, cars, phones, or tools are all used to enhance our sense of role (Witt p. 78).

The appearances of our facial expressions provide a wealth of information. Facial expressions are universal—happiness, grief, fear, disgust, etc. (Segal). There are many ways of sending a message through an expression. Just the other day I told my sister a story that I found funny and I thought she would feel the same; but as I was telling her and chuckling along the way, her face portrayed the exact opposite—horrification. In the work force facial expressions can sometimes send more messages than words. If a person, we will call her Susie, represents an organization, she would want to send the message of friendliness and professionalism through her expressions. Let’s say that Susie is listening to a client. Despite her expression, she is interested in the topic; yet, she appears to be uninterested in what the client has to say by her blank expression. This not only reflects poorly on her, but the company too. (“Personal Appearance”).  In this video, we can see how thoughts and emotions toward co-workers can be expressed through facial expressions.   The Office: Faces of Jim

This woman in this picture portrays a wealth of information through her facial expression. What kind of emotions do you think she is feeling?

We do not have to read a peoples’ facial expressions to sense what they feel; people can communicate through posture. Have you ever felt angry in a situation? If so, how did you stand or sit? Most likely you had your arms or legs crossed. Defensive postures have been interpreted as such (Cherry). The other day I came to Biggby to work on this blog. There was a couple sitting at a table across from me and I couldn’t help but notice that the man had good nonverbal communication skills. He sat across from the woman with his feet flat on the floor, crossed hands on his lap, maintained eye contact, and nodded affirmations. He seemed to be interested in what she was saying.

This picture portrays communication through posture. The woman is turned away from the man. What do you think she is expressing? What emotion do you think the man is portraying?

This picture portrays communication through posture. The woman is turned away from the man in the background with the wide stance. What do you think she is expressing? Sadness? Prejudice? What do you think the man is portraying? Danger? Anger?

With posture comes proximity. Proximity is one of those universally known facts, but never discussed. Typically, if we are unacquainted with someone, we stand at a comfortable distance; between 18 inches to four feet spaced apart (Cherry). The better we know someone, the more comfortable we are around him or her; in other words, standing closer to someone is a way to communicate a close relationship without verbal communication. Have you ever entered an elevator with one other person, whom you do not know, and stood shoulder-to-shoulder with him? Probably not.

Our values dictate our codes of conduct. Our values—what we truly believe—become apparent through our actions (in other words, nonverbal communication). For example, if I truly valued a friend I would show her interest in a conversation. I try to avoid yawning, make eye contact, and affirm her through nods.  Have you ever talked to someone who seemed uninterested in what you were saying? I have. It’s annoying, isn’t it? Values are the expression of what we believe, but Norms are the guidelines of our actions. Every society has a set of social norms. For example, “respect elders,” “Do not murder,” “Sharing is good,” etc. Social norms must be expected from every member of society in order for the norm to function. When we go to class we are not told what to do, yet every student sits down and waits quietly for the professor to begin the lecture. Another example is the movie theater. When we go to a movie, we expect viewers to be silent and to sit in the seats provided. Let’s say that you go to a movie theater and you wait quietly for the movie to begin. Then, an old man with large round glasses and white wiry hair enters and begins to shout and cartwheel. How would you react? Others would probably give him weird looks; bold people would maybe try to correct him. He broke the norm. The old man deviated away from expected actions.  The movie theater norm is a folkway. Folkways are a set of norms that guide everyday expectations; if broken, the deviant is not severely punished. On the other side of the spectrum are mores. Mores are the social expectations that must be rigidly upheld in order to maintain societal order.  The violators are severely punished. If the old man who cartwheeled in the theater were to pull a weapon on the crowd, the United States law would punish him.  On the other hand, formal norms are written down, but violators are punished by the state. For example, many restaurants have the, “no shirt, no shoes, no service” rule. The United States government wouldn’t punish the violator; he or she would simply be turned away from the restaurant. Informal norms are those understood rules but never discussed or taught. I subconsciously sat with my back to the person sitting across a table from me at Biggby. It is not considered normal to face a stranger and make eye contact with he or she. No one ever taught me this, nor have I ever discussed with anyone how to act in a coffee shop. (Witt p. 59-60)

So what happens if nonverbal communication goes wrong? When nonverbal communication goes wrong it can be interpreted as deviance, such as the old man mentioned above. For example, I remember the first time I spoke with my friend’s mother. She stood very close and put her hand on my shoulder and did not break eye contact. It was less than comfortable. Another example is Ben. Ben is an articulate speaker; however, if you were to ask his colleagues they would say he is forceful and unapproachable. Ben speaks with his arms crossed, wide stance, and chin up. In meetings, while everyone is seated he chooses so stand and pace. While he may not intend to exude force, everyone reads it as such. (Segal).

Nonverbal communication can also act as a “saving-face” ploy, also known as impression management. In Japan, if the “company man”, or the breadwinner of the family, loses his job he continues to rise early, get dressed and head off to the working sector of the city. Instead, he goes to the library or other places to pass the time until he returns home at the usual time. He may do this to maintain the appearance of a workingman. He may be too ashamed to admit to his family that he lost his job (Witt p. 78-79). People do this more subtlety than realized. If embarrassed in front of friends or a crowd, a person may roll his eyes and shake his head. We can see this frequently in sports. If a goalkeeper fails to save a goal, the keeper shakes his head, places hands on top of his head or covers his face.

Can nonverbal communication skills be improved? Of course! There are many simple solutions. When you are in a conversation, maintain eye contact. This doesn’t mean never break eye contact-that would be unusual. Dress in a presentable way; others will be more prone to treat you in a respectable manner. When addressing a crowd or public speaking, do not look at the ground or mutter. Speak up and look them in the eyes. These are just a few simple tactics to improve nonverbal communication skills.

Works Cited

Cherry, Kendra. “Types of Nonverbal Communication.” About.com: Psychology. About.com, 2013. Web. 15 Feb. 2013.

Segal, Jeanne, Melinda Smith, Greg Boose, and Jaelline Jaffee. “Nonverbal Communication: Improving Your Nonverbal Skills and Reading Body Language.” Helpguide.org. N.p., Jan. 2013. Web. 15 Feb. 2013.

“Personal Appearance.” SkillsYouNeed.co.uk. N.p., 2011-2013. Web. 15 Feb. 2013.

Witt, Jon. Soc. Ed. Gina Boedeker. 2nd ed. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2011. Print.

Media links to the above information:

http://esciencecommons.blogspot.com/2011/03/key-facts-about-nonverbal-communication.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jMB9ln9yrI