To me marriage is between a man and a woman. The man should be the breadwinner and the head of the household. He should make more money than me. We would both have college education backgrounds and jobs. My income should be for bonus things like vacations and luxuries. By the time I am done with college, I will have kids on the brain; I want a boy first. Not only do I want that typical modern family and marriage, I want to have the “normal idea” of what having kids is to most. I want a boy first and then the girl so she has a big brother. Maybe he will play baseball or football in school, she will have many friends, and she will play volleyball.
I have come to realize that due to feminist movements, this is slowly becoming a scenario that is not the norm. Strong female leaders tell me I do not need a man to achieve anything in life, which I know is true. I could just as easily finish school and have my children and all the things that “come with marriage.” These women tell me that men are just repressing me, trying to keep women in a submissive role to them. I do not believe this to be true. I want to be the “submissive one” in my marriage. That is what would make me happiest. I would not mind coming home from work knowing I had to start dinner and do the laundry and clean the house. When my husband gets home, he will mow the lawn, fix the car, take care of leaks, and grill. Maybe sometimes he would help around the house, but I could care less if he did those things that I think are expected of me as a wife and a homemaker. In my current relationship, I am worried that the roles will be reversed to what I do not consider a modern marriage. My current partner is attending school but I am not so sure he wants to finish, leaving me holding the bag of having the higher paying job if he does not complete school. I do not want to feel like I am the provider.
I realize how mundane that may sound, it may seem like I am just looking for a man to take care of me. This is not true. I would still have my own good paying job and hobbies, but I would just know that at the end of the day, I am a homemaker. Being a “housewife” does not mean I have repressed my dreams or am just a child bearer. To me, being that woman allows me to work and come home knowing I have still taken care of my family. Super women are not only those who have high-powered careers and are single mothers, or women who earn the primary income in their household. Super women can also be someone that wakes up gets ready for work, makes her husband and kids breakfast, packs her kids lunch and delivers them to school then heads to work herself. When she is out, she starts dinner for her children and still has time by the end of the day to keep a tidy home. These women are also super women to me. They are not repressed, they have a voice and they have choices just as single mother and career women do. I do not believe that the idea of having this type of marriage is wrong or outdated. It simply appeals to my nurturing side as a woman and my want to make a “house a home.” Just as much as women hate being oppressed by the man, I dislike being told I wouldn’t be doing anything important with my life for choosing this type of life. To me I would be providing the best environment for my children and husband, and this in turn would be best for me. I am not choosing it because I feel it is my only option, or because that is what women do. I would be choosing it because that is what I want as a postmodern woman who doesn’t have to sacrifice her family and modern marriage to feel empowered.